*doesn’t show affection* oh no, I’m making things awkward!!
*shows affection* oh no, I’m making things awkward!!
*exists* oh no, I’m making things awkward!!
*in my deathbed* oh no, I’m making things awkward!!
we opened at 11 this morning. i watched an old man literally pry the fucking sliding doors open at 10:43 and stand there just staring into the empty store and my coworker & i were like sir. for the love of fuck
me, out of a dead sleep: yeAH
this is the first piece of mcelroy content i ever saw, and literally everything since then has lived up to it
cat: *meows in a distance*
my mom’s voice from the kitchen: you want a tomato, you fool? you won’t eat it
cat: *meows louder*
so every year after the juniors finish reading The Great Gatsby my high school english teacher throws a Gatsby party at his huge house and everyone shows up in period clothing and Charlestons to 20s music and my english teacher just wears a suit and stands off to the side staring wistfully out the window the entire night
you guys think I’m joking??
he looks like colonel sanders
so the cah pride pack has options for buying it “with glitter" and “without glitter” and knowing cards against humanity they just tip like 3 tablespoons of fucking glitter into the pack of cards and send it out
this is absolutely what they’ve done
I did it to myself so you don’t have to
send help
Keanu Thieves (via mushroombirdornaments)
The people running after him makes it funnier
HE LOOKS SO HAPPY
“theyre homophobic but theyre good people!!!” hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. are they really. are they REALLY. are they. are theyr eally. Are the
this post is making straight people mad keep reblogging
